It Seems I Have a Thing for Gay Guys
Or perhaps I “turn them” gay….who knows?
(no – I don’t believe that it’s a choice. I think that they are born that way. I never made a decision to be straight…but that’s not even the point and I’m not going to get in to that discussion…onward….)
If you are someone who skips class reunions (I only showed up for the 20th and then proceeded to get hammered, so I may as well have skipped it), people from high school have probably been frozen in time for you. The prettiest and most popular girl still looks perfect in your mind. The gorgeous, aloof, yet sensitive guy is still the same. Your high school boyfriend is still as perfect (or imperfect) as the last time you saw him.
Do you know what the problem is with FaceBook? All of those people are on there. Some of them have improved with age and some others? Not so much. And then you find out that most of those guys who you spent many a night just wishing would proclaim their undying love for you….are now gay.
At least I have an explanation for the guys I made a fool of myself chasing after like a dog in heat and wouldn’t give me the time of day who were the targets of my totally non-obvious crush. It wasn’t me – I just had the wrong equipment and they either didn’t know or couldn’t say (hey – this was the mid-80s. “coming out” in high school was.not.done).
FYI: I reacted like any neurotic normal person would. I started seeking out all the guys that I dated in high school or had a crush on. Married? Their profile picture is a Monument to Testosterone? FRIEND ‘EM! It’s sort of like that episode of Friends where Phoebe called every friend she had to make sure they were alive.
But after my initial immature reaction, I started to think about it and it made perfect sense. The reason that I liked these guys so much was because they represented the best of both worlds. Looking back on it, I can smack my head and say “How did I not see it then?” (probably because they didn’t see it either), but they were gorgeous guys who liked Madonna, were good dancers, dressed great, were quiet and shy and never seemed to have a girlfriend. They were me, with dicks.
They were the stereotype, without the limp wrist and fey accent.
And then I started thinking of the objects of my adult lusts….
Rupert Everett? Yep – Gay
Neil Patrick Harris? Gay
B.D. Wong? Anderson Cooper? BARRY MANILOW? (ok – that last one may not have been that big a shock)
So there you have it….I may be a grown woman of 39 with a husband who oozes testosterone with his DeWalt tools (although he DOES know the difference between chartreuse and lime green)….
But I am nothing but a fag hag! And I can’t wait to hang out with them again!
Is Anderson Cooper officially gay now?
God, why do you make me wait SO LONG for you?
I was going to ask if Barry Manilow was officially out now.
Mindi, good to see you back! I clicked on your site in my “favorites file” on a whim, and bam! you are posting again.
Merry Christmas to you and the Royal Family!
This post really hits home for me. I had heard rumors that my high school boyfriend went gay, and Facebook confirmed it for me. I went out with him for 2 years…ugh, I should have seen the signs.
Quite a few friends that were guys that I had in high school are now gay too…who would have thunk it.
I guess I have a thing for gay guys too
I actually have my own clique of gays. In fact, at my old job I had a gay husband. Last night it was me and 3,700 gay men at the Kathy Griffin show. I’m house and dog sitting for my friend and his partner this weekend. Funny… I don’t drink and I’m not gay, but I’ll spend hours at gay bars because I’m the premiere hag for my group and well, isn’t it my job to be with them? I’m Grace, except I’ve got huge boobs (which are totally wasted on my gays). Life is good.
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH back the trolly up. Anderson Cooper is gay???? {dies a little inside}
Ah, Barry Manilow. I had the biggest crush on him when I was fifteen.
Well – I only know of one GIRL I went to HS with who is gay… I know this through Facebook – but nothing about ay of the guys. I really only had two guys that I wanted badly. To the best of my knowledge they are both straight – so… well… it was just me apparently. sigh. But I digress – I so badly need a gay friend. Almost want to take out a personal ad for it. Wanted: One gay man to just be my friend – hang out with me, go shopping, give me clothing advice – and tell me who in my life NOW is gay.
Anywho… I SO VERY MUCH love that you are back. Can’t wait to read more! Welcome back and happy new year!