The Queen Mum Lives

We live in a semi-civilized society. At least, I’d like to think that we do. 

As a mom of 3 children under the age of eight, I would like to think that I have learned a few life lesssons.  Certainly a few lessons in etiquette.  You don’t change a diaper on the table at Applebee’s.  If your toddler has a meltdown in the supermarket, you grab the milk and the bananas, pay for them and get the hell out of there (apologizing to every employee on the way out for the cart full of groceries that you are leaving)

And I learned some new lessons last night….

You don’t go to a restaurant on New Years Eve with 13 adults and 15 children (even if said restaurant is considered a “family restaurant”).

One would think that such a simple statement would be enough, wouldn’t one?

One would be wrong.

So let’s get a few things straight, in case you are already planning your soiree for next year:

1.   You don’t go out to a restaurant with 13 adults and 15 children (oh?  Did I say that already?)

2.  If you are dumb enough to do so, then when you get to the restaurant and see that they put the 15 children in the main dining room and the 13 adults in their own separate room, you speak up and say to the hostess “Hey!  This might not be the best idea!  The other 50 customers in the restaurant may not appreciate being so close to 15 semi-supervised children under the age of 11!” (and you certainly don’t smirk and say “Better them than me!”)

3.  If the hostess/owner assigns one lonely server to your party of 28, you cut him a break.  Perhaps you even say something to the owner/hostess about needing another server assigned to your group?

4.  When the overworked server still hasn’t brought the drinks to the children’s table, yet has already started bringing out appetizers to the adults and is approaching your table with a tray full of glasses and a pitcher of water, it is acceptable to suggest that the server give the water to the children instead.  It is NOT acceptable to scream “Where’s our water?” less than 2 minutes later.

5.  If you are told that, due to the separate checks issue, each partys food may come out at separate times, don’t just start grabbing entrees off the tray and passing them out to anyone who happened to be seated at the time.  I am still shocked that the waiters didn’t deck us at that point!

That was my New Years Eve.

And while I had a wonderful time being with my friends (we have spent New Years Eve with the same 3 other couples and their guests for the past 12 years), the evening was just an etiquette nightmare.  I’m not saying that I consider myself Emily Post, but I spent a good portion of the evening apologizing both to our server and the other people in the restaurant.

I’ve already sugested a Progressive Dinner for next year.